Below the Mason Dixon

This weekend was awesome and much needed, although I didn't really know I needed it at the time. It was one of those things though, once we were finished, where we were like, "Gee, we really needed that!"

On Friday night I left work in horrendous, horrendous, horrendous traffic (SEPTA was still on strike, they're not anymore thank god) and headed to Central PA to B's house. When I finally got there she whisked me away to a little local tavern where I had apple cinnamon martinis (omg yum) and a portabella burger with goat cheese which was fucking fantastic. It was an awesome, relaxing night.

On Saturday B made her mom and I breakfast sandwiches on bagels (she is an amazing cook). We still weren't sure if we were going to take the drive to anywhere that we had previously discussed but once we saw how beautiful it was outside it was too tempting to resist. We packed an overnight bag just in case and headed south with no map.

We drove through lots of farmland which was beautiful. Most of the leaves were fallen off of the trees already and I kept talking about how I wish we had had time in October to drive around and look at them, but we couldn't ... obviously. I was packing up a whole house and dealing with my dog dying and trying not to have a breakdown. Such is life. So the drive was still beautiful and it was sunny and wonderful and we had lots of good conversation.

We reached Maryland and found a little pizza shop where we had lunch. We kind of chatted about where we wanted to go because we were seriously in the middle of nowhere and didn't come across any towns or anything. I got out my phone and saw that if we kept traveling south we'd hit Baltimore and neither of us wanted to do anything city, so we decided to head Southwest instead. The landscape started changing a bit and you could see much bigger hills/mountains, which super excited me. We landed in Leesburg, VA, one of the cutest little towns ever. We arrived when it was almost dark so we started looking for places to stay, and guess what? Most places were all booked up or almost all booked up because there was a church convention thing. Ha. Nice. We ended up at the Best Western which was decent enough, took a nap, and then headed out to the grocery store. We picked up these four cute little wine bottles, cheese, crackers, and grapes. It was super cute and romantic. We came back to the room where B fed me these things - slowly, lovingly, intimately. It was a wonderfully connecting night.

Once we ate breakfast and headed out of the hotel on Sunday morning we headed over to the historic downtown district of Leesburg. Most of the shops didn't open until noon so we walked around instead and I was able to take tons of pictures. And can I say, the weather was fucking perfect!!! It was like 75 degrees. In November. Nuts. I made B stand against the wall (actually more than one ha) and pose for me.
I love historic and old buildings, which I get a lot of, being from and living near and working in Philly. So this was cool because it was different but similar - a lot of the architecture is the same.




























Once we were done downtown we headed over to Morven Park, a historic mansion. The grounds were simply beautiful. They had gardens like out of a movie.
B explained a lot to me about what type of plants things were which is always nice because I have no clue. The mansion itself was beautiful and was around for things during the civil war. Super cool. B took a picture of me next to the pillars so you could gauge the size of the place. When you stood on the "porch" of the mansion and looked forward you could see far away, the landscape stretching, beautiful hills and green and trees. It was so quiet and serene and beautiful. We sat under a tree for some shade (because it was so beautifully super sunny) and B let me sit on her sweater (I don't like the bugs!!) and I leaned back against her and she just held me and we talked and looked at the scenery and we just WERE. It was awesome. That's when she asked for the camera to take a picture, the one I posted yesterday, of my leg and her boot and our hands (and inevitably, my boob. Oops). I love that picture. Good eye. After a while a bug managed to get into my bra. I freaked out way less than I thought I would and told her it was time to get away from the tree :) There were benches there so ended up finishing up the cheese, crackers, grapes, and wine from the night before for lunch. It was super romantic and beautiful. (Hmm seems to be the theme of the weekend).

When we left this place we went in the opposite direction of how we got there so we could just explore and see what was around. We ended up traveling for miles and miles and miles along gravel roads looking at multi million dollar mansions and estates. Holy shit. Also, this area is apparently known for being equestrian fanatics and you could definitely see that. We came upon a sign for a winery so we immediately followed the arrows, as it was something we had wanted to do that day anyway. We ended up going to three wineries, purchasing about 5 bottles all together. It was a great time. The most exciting part was that at the third winery there was a sign up saying that if you bought one bottle of wine you would receive a free ride on a hot air balloon! And we just happened to be there at the time this was going on. Well, I about shit my pants. I had never done that but I sure did want to! So once it was our turn we "climbed" in. And yes, they did have a little crate there for you to step up on but my short ass still had to hold onto B and basically bring my knee up to my ear to swing my leg in. Then the people that were in there before had to get out (they stayed in while we got in for weight purposes, so the thing wouldn't fly away). B took a picture of me right before we lifted up - look at that cheese! I was so fucking excited and happy. As if you couldn't tell.





After this we headed back into town and was able to get to one antique shop before they all closed. That was pretty cool. I'm not (or at least I didn't used to be) very interested in antiques but I think my taste buds are changing a little :) After that we went to a fancy place for dinner - it was written up in the Washington Post and all of these other magazines - and it was nice, definitely, but it wasn't blow-your-socks-off kind of food. Especially for the price. Then, unfortunately, we had to head back home :( We could have easily stayed another day or two to see more things and taste more wine. We were pleasantly surprised about our little trip below the Mason Dixon line, for sure.

Happy 6 Months to Us!

Today marks 6 months since B and I had our first date. She’s making a special mid-week trip to my house tonight so we can eat homemade pizza, drink wine, and be locked up alone in my room for some uninterrupted time together.

My short little blog love note to B:

Dear B,

I cannot believe it has been six months since our first date. I was not in the healthiest of places when we met yet you saw past that and wanted to stay and didn’t try to change me. I still find it hard to believe that you wanted to get to know me anyway, wanted to try to love such damaged goods. But here we are, a whole half of a year later, still growing and learning and loving. It’s amazing what can happen when you are able to open your heart again.

My time with you has been an unexpected journey of new self-discovery and awareness and you’ve helped that unearthing. You gave me hope when I had none, love when I thought it impossible, and glue when I thought I was broken. Thank you for your support, kindness, patience, generosity, understanding, compassion, and love. You have taught me how to love again and have showed me I’m worthy enough and good enough to be loved. It is beyond words, what you have been able to help restore in me. I can’t thank you enough.

Getting to know you and falling in love with you has been magical and incredible. I can’t wait for tonight, for the celebration of us, for the celebration of an amazing six months together. I am too wise nowadays to wish for a lifetime - so even better, I wish for us an amazing NOW. I know that whatever journey we are on together, for however long, I will cherish and love and appreciate. I can’t wait to see what the next six months holds in store for us.

I’m so glad we found each other. There are no accidents now, are there?

All my love,

Jenny



And the evolution continues.

Destra Doggie Needs Help!

There's this awesome doggie, Destra, that lives in Missouri, brought all the way there after she was rescued from Hurricane Katrina when she was only 4 months old. She has two awesome moms, one who blogs over at Rocket Ramble and who also blogs about her dogs at her dog farm.

Destra is a 5 year old lab/pit mix, full of goofiness and sweetness and energy and constantly wanting to play. Always smiling, she is loving life. Unfortunately, for the past few years Destra has been suffering from what was initially ruptured cranial cruciate ligament and has now turned into that plus additional problems. She either needs two new knees or two amputated legs with a cart - both things out of reach financially for her family. Her moms are doing all that they can for her right now but if she doesn't somehow get her legs fixed she'll have to lose her life ... which is ridiculous for an otherwise healthy young dog.

You can read all about her story and see pictures at her blog, Destra Dog. Please consider donating something, anything to help her! And if you can or can't help out financially, could you please re-post this or type up your own blog post about it or email the link to anyone and everyone you know or facebook about her to let them know about this pooch? You never know who you know or who your friends know or their friends and maybe there's someone out there that knows a brilliant vet or Madonna or Oprah or SOMEBODY that could possibly help this doggie out! Please consider taking a few minutes to do this - it seems like most of Destra's options are running out and getting the word out there is our last bit of hope.

She's already survived so much and just doesn't deserve this :( You all know I lost Gracie so unexpectedly four weeks ago and if I could have done anything to save her I would have.

Nothing is guaranteed here ... but it's worth a shot! Thanks all for reading and helping in any way that you can.

Gracie Plays Fetch

I was looking at my YouTube account today and came across this and it made me smile.

There is Not One Unifying Thing to the Details of This Post

I signed up for Sirius XM Radio at the beginning of the week because Rosie has a new talk show and I love Rosie so of course I wouldn’t miss it. Today one of the guests was Willy Rodriguez, a janitor and the last survivor pulled out of the rubble when The Towers collapsed. I’ve known about him for years – watched a documentary he was in a few years ago and his story is incredible. Truly moving. Google and You Tube him if you can and listen to his story. Questions need to be answered because what the government and media have conveyed to us about the events of September 11 is not the whole story.

I’m finally giving in and getting a new pair of glasses, hopefully this weekend. I LOVE the pair I have on my face but after two or three years they are just done. I’ve been putting it off because of the expense but I’m getting over it. My mortgage payments have just ended so before I shuttle all of the extra money over to my credit cards I need to take care of this.

I have no weekend plans for the second weekend in a row and that is fabulous. B and I had talked about possibly pulling a Jude and R and not plan a trip by getting in the car on Saturday morning and driving south to see if we could catch some leaves in their peak, take some photographs, have a nice meal or two, get some naked time in the bed and leave all worries behind. It’s up in the air – maybe we will and maybe we won’t. I guess we’ll figure that out tonight. Either way I’m going to have some me time and then some B & me time and that’s what I want and need.

I’ve gotten a decent amount of my Christmas shopping done which is awesome. It’s interesting to be shopping for someone other than Liz (we spent 6 Christmases and birthdays together so after a while you really get the gift giving thing down) but I love shopping for B because it’s different and new and more to learn. What I loved about Christmas with Liz was that even though we got each other gifts all year long (small, big, whatever) we still did Christmas up and made it special. Liz and I are both very thoughtful gift giver s. We paid attention to details and we surprised. We got some of what the other person asked for and some of what they didn’t. We wrapped gifts with a lot of love and detail. We spent the morning together, just us, and then we went to my parent’s house to watch my brothers open gifts from Santa and then exchange with them. We came back home and in a hurry we began to prepare for Christmas Dinner, which we had at our house for Liz’s side of the family. We took video and pictures and I helped cut things while she cooked and I cleaned the house and got the pile under the tree under control and set up the table. We spent all day with our immediate family (us and the fur kids) and then part of the day with our other families. We made new traditions together and we brought some from our past and we knew what was important and focused on that. We loved the holiday before we met each other, but being together made it even better.

I’ve had a lot of time to think about my first Christmas without Liz because when she first left me I thought about all of these things, these first that I would have to have without her. I thought it would be horrendous, sickening, god-awful. As the months pass though and I heal more and more I know of course I will be ok. Now that I’m dating B I get to experience Christmas with her and her family and I’m super excited about it. The problem though is that she isn’t and I’m trying to find a way to make our attitudes about the holidays mesh. She’s had some holiday experiences in the past that just weren’t that great – her mom doesn’t overly enjoy Christmas and doesn’t have any set traditions (like cooking dinner or anything) so B often feels like if she doesn’t do the cooking or make the effort, her and her family wouldn’t get together. Plus, she’s spent the last 4 or 5 Christmases with her ex, so the traditions she does have involve her. I tried to explain to her that we will make our own traditions and now she can experience a new family, as nuts as they are (that would be mine), and that we’ll work it out so it will be great. I don’t think she’s convinced. I hope her attitude changes though after she sees how wonderful it will be. Because it will.
Geeze I don’t know how I started talking about Christmas shopping and then ended with that.

It’s now 2pm and I’m leaving today at 3:30 which is unbelievably exciting. Back to work I go.

I <3 the Phillies

Dear Phillies,

Thank you for an awesome season as the World Champions and getting back to the Fall Classic for a second year in a row! 2010 Baby. Bring it.


And congrats to Rocket who is about to get some awesome Philadelphia goodness, courtesy of her stupid team winning.

Rescuing Me

This photo was taken almost exactly a year before she died. Liz and I were camping in the Poconos and fall was in it's glory. She has a great smile, doesn't she? I love it.

I was checking out a Pit Bull Rescue website today, a local one in my area as I'm thinking about volunteering, and I came across this poem. Made me cry. I miss my puppy. Tomorrow is three weeks already. Three weeks. Devastating still.

I Rescued a Human Today

Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her. I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn't be afraid. As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn't want her to know that I hadn't been walked today. Sometimes the shelter keepers get too busy and I didn't want her to think poorly of them. As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn't feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone's life. She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to comfort her. Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship. A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well. Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms. I would promise to keep her safe. I would promise to always be by her side. I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes. I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor. So many more are out there who haven't walked the corridors. So many more to be saved. At least I could save one. I rescued a human today.

Author unknown

I think she will rescue me again. I do. In some way, in some form, there is a reason for this too.

Recovering Nicely

This weekend was truly awesome. It was relaxing. Not much on the agenda. On Friday night I went to a Fall Party at B’s friend’s house and met some pretty cool people. I was in a bit of a funk because I couldn’t stop thinking about Gracie – she was supposed to be there with me and meet them for the first time and play with their 4 doggies. I got a good amount of loving from their puppies, but it just isn’t the same as your own. On Saturday we were supposed to take a fall Jeep ride but the Jeep was acting up so we took a fall Mazda 6 ride instead. A lot of the leaves were already fallen but it was still beautiful. We made our way over to the Reading Outlets where I had coupons for Vanity Fair and did some shopping. Afterwards we had dinner at this cool place called Viva and then headed home to watch the Phillies game. On Sunday I slept in till a ridiculous time thanks to needing to catch up on sleep from the week from hell… and daylight savings time helped a little too. We laid around for a few hours before finally getting up and heading out to purchase my settlement present to myself. Before we got to the mall though, B finally drove me by Jon and Kate’s house – something I have been begging her to do for months now. She only lives like 6 miles away from them. How bizarre, right? I even took a few pictures. I’m a crazy person. Who does that? After my exciting PS3 purchase we got some dinner and then called it a night.

Perfection.

Yesterday I had a fun day when my usually one hour commute turned into three hours. Philadelphia’s transportation authority is on strike. Good times. So this morning (and every morning until the strike is over) I get to wake up an hour earlier than usual to catch a different train into the city. It is my goal in life to one day work from home. Seriously.

Other than the daily grind I am trying to catch up on things that need to be done. I got caught up on emails. I did some wash. Organized. Visited. Cooked.

Now that things are starting to calm down, my brain is going into overdrive about the next steps in my life: Where am I going? What am I doing? What do I want to do? What am I meant to do? What makes me happy? Where is my purpose?

I think I’m going to start something big – a project that I think is purposeful, that means something to me, something I need to do and want to do – but I’m afraid to say it out loud just yet. My thoughts about it take up half of my day and soon I think I’ll be ready to put my extra energy into it. I’m excited. Nervous. Afraid of failing. Hopeful.

The rubble is starting to clear and I’m still rubbing my eyes from the dust. Hopefully I can see clear again soon.

And it's worthy to note that yesterday marked 7 months since Liz left - and I didn't even think about it or remember until today. Progress, eh?

Fall Boat Ride

I've finally gotten around to downloading pictures that have been sitting on my memory cards for over a month. Remember when I talked about the boat ride we went on in the beginning of October? The one where I tried to water ski? Here are the pics - try not to make fun of me too much :)

The beautiful lake we were about to go cruising on.

Us, relaxing after eating some lunch.

One of the many pictures of me struggling to get the other ski on. No, really. There is probably about 20 pictures of me making faces and grunting and sometimes even laughing. I'll spare you. The ski that's sticking out of the water is already on - the other one is somewhere under the water getting ready to surface, as it did for 20 minutes before I was able to conquer it.

This is after I just got the ski on. I was taking a break. It was exhausting.

Yea... ski's are barely sticking out of the water. Not looking so good.

And I'm gone.

This was my most promising attempt - look how far out of the water I got before starting to plunge forward!

Wipeout. Notice how my skis are completely spread apart! Please take notice because I'm not sure I can make my legs spread that wide on a voluntary basis. This picture is hilarious.

Still all smiles after my final attempt. 2010. Bring it.

The sunset later that night at B's friend's house.

Two Weeks

It's been two weeks today since Gracie passed away. It's still difficult for me to talk about and I haven't yet begun to write, although I know I will.

I found this poem and thought it appropriate.

In My Heart
I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too.
I think of you in silence. I often speak your name.
Now all I have is memories, and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake, with which I’ll never part.
God has you in his keeping.
I have you in my heart.